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Secretary not permanent until screwed on floor. 

Man like baby - want to suck tit all day.

Schoolboy OK to masturbate as long as it's not against Principal.

Best way to prevent hangover is to stay drunk.

It take square ass to shit brick.

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.

A girls best asset is her liability ('lie'ability).

Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters into his own hands.

War doesn't determine who's right.  War determines who's left.

Man who masturbate into cash register, soon come into money.

Rape impossible.  Woman run faster with skirt up than man run with
pants down.

Man who go to bed with diarrhea wake up in deep shit.

Man who pulls on woman's bra-strap may get bust in mouth.

Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.

A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.

Nail on board is not good as screw on bench.

Him who stand on toilet be high on pot.

Man who stand in front of moving car is tired, Man who stands in back of
moving car, exhausted.

Om de immense wijsheid van de oosterse meesters te kunnen waarderen, is enkele kennis van de chinese taal noodzakelijk. Woorden en karakters kunnen soms voor de westerling onbegrijpelijk dubbelzinnig zijn. Vandaar hier een korte lijst met de belangrijkste filosofische kreten en hun betekenis:

CHINESE DICTIONARY
Dung On Mai Shu------I stepped in the excrement of some animal and feel one with nature
Ai Bang Mai Ne-------I bumped into the coffee table and am experiencing extreme pain now
Chin Tu Fat----------You may need a face lift my young friend
Dum Gai--------------A stupid male that hasn't seen the way yet
Gun Pao Der----------An ancient Chinese invention
Hu Flung Dung--------Which one of you fertilized the field?
Hu Yu Hai Ding-------We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugitive we would like to capture and decapitate
Kum Hia--------------Approach me so i can teach you my beliefs
Lao Ze---------------Not very good, you might need to practice harder
Lin Ching------------An illegal execution
Moon Lan Ding--------A great achievement of the American space program
Ne Ahn---------------A lighting fixture used in advertising signs or a brand of car
Shai Gai-------------A bashful male who still needs developping
Ten Ding Ba----------Serving drinks to people so they to can be enlightened
Wan Bum Lung---------A person with T.B.
Yu Mai Te Tan--------Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you
Wa Shing Kah---------Cleaning an automobile
Wai So Dim-----------Are you trying to save electricity?
Wai U Shao Ting------There is no reason to raise your voice
Kum Hia Nao----------See me as soon as possible, i need help
No Bai Dam Thing!!---Your price is too high for my earthly wallet
Hao Long Wei Ting----Has your flight been delayed?
Wai Yu Mun Ching-----I thought you were on a diet, spit that mouse out now!
No Pah King----------This is a tow away zone.
Yu So Dum------------You are not very bright, your training may take a few years extra
Ai No Pei------------I got this for free.
Wai Hang Mi?---------I am not guilty, my evil twin did it!
Wai Go Nao?----------Please, stay a while longer, we aren't done yet, young attractive female!
Lei Lo---------------Stay out of sight or die